Theodicy

An individual committed a heinous evil act, murdering men, women and children gathered to watch a movie. My heart grieves for the loss and suffering endured by the victims and their loved ones left behind. I mourn for the Light extinguished so senselessly on that day. In the wake of hurtful evil acts, we rush to understand why such darkness has entered our lives. When we are loosened from our moors, it is reasonable to reach out for something solid to steady ourselves, some explanation, some solution.

To a degree, I believe that evil is - in some knowable way - a result of causes and conditions. In this view, evil is a developmental deficit. Stemming from my belief in the wholeness of all, I assert that each person enters this world whole - that is to say, filled with dignity and complete with the potential to grow into the Light. Throughout life, our inner selves develop and transform dependent on the inputs and conditions around us. Light begets Light, and as we continue to grow, we become who we are to Be.  But if there is a deficit of Light, or worse, a surfeit of Darkness, we cannot grow as humans. With a deficit of Light, it seems, we are susceptible to selfish, disconnected, hurtful acts.

In my mind, this is how I make sense of things, this is some sort of explanation that prevents the ground from entirely falling out from under me. Such a theodicy is a working definition, something that accommodates my perspective and my experiences. But ultimately, I am certainly uncertain whether or not such a framework holds water amongst the diversity of the human perspectives and experiences. And it certainly provides no answer to the foundational question, which is: why is darkness a possibility in the first-place?

So, honestly, I cannot understand the entirety of the causes and conditions that led to such an evil act; I am wary of projecting my own subjective understandings onto universal explanations; I am wary of projecting my own desire for control onto an all-knowing, all-powerful entity somewhere out there. At the deepest level, all I can say is that I cannot fully know why such sorrow and suffering enters the human experience. My focus instead is to consider deeply how to respond to such darkness, and how to transform my life to bring more light into the world. Whether or not we can understand darkness, whether or not we are able to solve evil acts, I am called to enact life and love in the world, to be part of salvation here and now. I am enjoined to live into the abundance of the spiritual life, and to share that abundance courageously. 

Wildfires and Life Cycles

Wildfires rage through foothills forests. Homes are destroyed. Lives are lost. The sky turns charcoal gray.

I empathize with the focus on our homes lost, our favorite forest gone, our air difficult to breathe. I do not deny the suffering of these realities. But I think it is also significant to step back and attempt to view - if dimly - the larger whole. For, a wildfire - while destructive - is equally creative. A wildfire is part of the natural life cycle of a forest. Perhaps we struggle to see this since the life cycle of a forest is much longer than our own life cycle. Perhaps we struggle to see the myriad relationships between our life cycle and the forest’s life cycle because our own survival keeps us busy enough. Perhaps we struggle to see how destruction could possibly lead to creation since our consciousness - it seems - is bookended by our individual birth and death. But I believe that our finite life, just like the finite life of a tree in the forest, is part of the greater life cycle: the interconnectedness, transformation, and wholeness of all things.

As humans, we possess the capacity and desire to celebrate each spark - fleeting as it is - in the consuming fire. This is love, which happens to be a prerequisite for loss and sadness. This is to be human, and is divine. But in the suffering of the individual, we are held in the embrace of the whole. This embrace does not belittle our sadness, but it holds us in the awareness that our existence, while finite, is connected to something greater. And in this awareness, we come to find transformation, and healing.