Helmets

I have on my shiny orange kayak helmet right now. I love wearing helmets! Even as I sit here in front of a computer, putting my thoughts to the page.

Why? Because there are a lot of sharp pointy rocks out in the world! If I am wearing my helmet, it means I am charging ahead, regardless. You do not need to wear a helmet if you live a safe, conservative life and avoid all difficult terrain. But recently, I have been wearing my helmet, and loving it!

You see, I have been preparing for a run at a new position at work over the last few months, a so-called leadership position. At first, I was uncertain if I was even interested in the new terrain, and in any case, a bit hesitant to put myself out there. But I made a choice, spurred on by a mentor: come what may, go for it! Consequently, I have been intensely studying all the "book material" - the policies, regulations, knowledge, theory, skills and strategies - to have "good" answers for the interview. That comes naturally to me. More of a challenge, I have also put myself out there on the "social side" - connecting with new people, forging partnerships, presenting at meetings, small talk with the Vice-President, sharing my passions and visions with the wider world. This terrain is much scarier to me, sharp and pointy.

Here is the strange thing. The social side, the risky terrain, the areas of reservation: my efforts charging ahead in these areas have been exhilarating! Good thing for my helmet. It gave me courage to chance it, protected me from the rocks.

It is too easy to let our fears and perceptions define the boundaries of our possibility. My natural mode has always been to think and observe, to process in my own head, to only share myself within a tight circle. There are strengths to this mode, strengths I still rely on today: intellectual activities come easy, self-understanding is readily available, and I have never much gotten in trouble or hurt by others. But it is now becoming apparent that these natural ways of being can be hijacked by self-doubt, codified and institutionalized over the years into limiting thoughts, and turned into self-inflicted boxes defining our potential.

The core philosophy of my life is: becoming - grounded in our roots and growing toward the light. Here you find my most foundational spiritual assumption; if we all have this opportunity and realize enough to take it, then we as an interconnected whole evolve ever closer to goodness and truth, a just and joyous world, the Kingdom. This pursuit leads me to work at a community college, to be the best friend and family that I can, to struggle for ecological justice, to dance my way across a volcanic island. And it explains why I am so excited this morning!

I still do not know if I will be selected for this particular position that I am applying for, and in a way, it does not really matter. Far greater a reward the process has already granted. I have taken a new leap in my journey of becoming, and ascended beyond certain self-conceived limitations. Now, from this new vantage point, I see even higher mountains to climb!